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Choke Hold

Choke Hold

Choke hold

Lay me to sleep

Set me down slowly

Build me up gently

I feel the pinch and the air that tries to escape

I test my fate with each breath

It’s all in a moment

Fear not the unknown

You WILL know

You will

No matter how much you don’t want it

No matter how hard the climb or how close the wall

~

You will slam into life and it will hold you

Arms tight

Fingers around your heart

Forever squeezing

Choking you to the point of clarity

Believe me

You will know

~

You can have my blood

I don’t want it, don’t need it

I live in the stars

I find myself awake amongst the Gods

It’s all head nods and fist bumps but I’m no killer like them

I’ve read your brittle, little words

And in my strong hands, I watch them all crumble

From screams to a mumble

I hear them all

Choking on their words

Death to the silence

Simple.Little.Nothings

simple.little.nothings

Simple little nothings

Life is what I make

Paper plates and plastic forks

You take this all, this old world force

I don’t breathe – I don’t sin

I just love and I just grin

It’s all for fun

Let’s not care

Let’s find hope but only if we dare

We couldn’t compare ourselves to anything but our selves

We can’t breathe for anybody else

These things keep me awake

I try to sleep but just wait

There’s a tomorrow out there – somewhere

I know I care – somewhere

~

It’s all these simple little nothings

I never understood

Under the hood, the engine is warm

Under the light, the insects swarm

It’s all just a gas and still….

I choke, I choke, I choke, I choke

The Lurking

The Lurking

I stay dizzy but the thoughts stay clear

Clear to the crystal

I can make points but none I want to remember

Somehow control my temper

I must not care, I just don’t care

Eyes roll back but still all I see is life

The love that plagues me

I can’t shut off, can’t power down

Flip my switch

Creator, I beg you

Both hands clasped

Steer me clear of this feeling

I’ll take it if it’s off the hands of someone else

Growing old – I know that I’m just being singled out

There is no balance

The lucky ones get taken

Punching bags made to suffer

Nothing we can do

I’ll fight with all the love of the Gods and still come up empty handed

I’ll rise like the Phoenix every time only to be shot down

I’ll kill and I’ll die and I’ll live

But it’ll never be good enough

Not for your riches, not for your anything

I’ll lay myself at the feet of all mercy but for what?

A few nice words when they burn me at the stake

I’m not writing this, the lurking does it for me

Guiding my hand through words chosen by my psyche

I started, never stopping, and after a few seconds the blood is already there

As for me, the one in hiding – I’m just drunk and couldn’t care less

My heart’s on my sleeve and the words just all fall from my chest

There is no meaning

Middle Ground

Middle Ground

Tripping over my own tongue, I fall on deaf ears

So many signs in your language

Talking to myself but too busy dreaming to heed the warnings

Not a question of what but a question of when

“if a tree falls and nobody hears it…”

The tree only falls when nobody is listening

Not a matter of time but what matters now

Too much thinking, not enough caring

Too much caring, not enough thinking

I’m looking for the middle ground

I wanna know the lay of the land

Not to keep digging holes so I can hide from shadow

Not to try and undo the great silence that I’ve done

I just want the sleep that comes without the fear of starting over

Sitting Pretty Spinning

Sitting pretty spinning

Sitting pretty spinning

Slouched on a sunset

Horse drawn buggy

Head in the cumulus

Lost in the circles

Remembering childhood

How the merry went round

Round about dusk

That was old business

Man made of horns

One good

Spears like rabbit ears

One bad

Hears what the rabbit hears

The night’s not here yet

Just enough time for a few more laps

Sitting spinning pretty

Both sides of every memory

Remembering little

Except how the merry went round

Free From Falling

Free From Falling

Free from falling

Ships are sinking

No land calling

What was I thinking?

On my way to the bottom

Did I want more?

Was it living?

I was on the floor

And you sailed by me

Eyes closed

Floating blindly

Currents behind me

Carried away

Happens all the time

Use the last of my strength

Grip my eyes tight

Bury myself behind my eyelids

 

 

Layers and Shades

Layers and Shades

~

Layers and shades

Exposed rib cage

Heart on my sleeve

Where does it come from?

Where does it go when it leaves?

Runs around crazy

Keeps on pecking

Keeps on ticking

Running on crazy

So many maybes

Hard to be real

I don’t like me

I don’t like hiding

Tired of the fear

Mind and heart fight over who gets to steer

I’m stuck in the middle

Between the layers and shades

~

Time is precious

And it’s all I have to offer